One aspect of the CMNM lifestyle (sexual preference) is just how and where such kinds of experiences actually occur.
There are three broad categories for how and where CMNM occurs --
1) planned situations where both parties involved, the clothed man (males) and naked ones are participating willingly and in predetermined locations (such as a bar, Pride event, male strip club, male lap-dancing, or private group sex parties. Some examples are nude nights at some gay bars, or stripping contests, or amateur strip nights, or hiring a nude escort or sex 'massage' escort (not to be confused with a real licensed masseur or massage therapist). Some are these 'planned' CMNM events are a part of a larger men's gathering or nude or sexual retreat - CMEN, Burning Man, or Street Festival (Southern Decadence in New Orleans or Dore Alley Fair in Cisco).
2) pre-meditated, semi-random or semi-accidental one-way CMNM (this is a very gray
area - so it's not clearly definable).. In these only ONE of the two manipulates (or at least it appears that one side is cognizant and the other side is ignorant (or innocent) of 'planning' or 'willingly' participant in sexually stimulating their counterpart. So the exact environment or conditions are very important but also very unique and specific to the situation (like good timing while visiting your Uncle's home, etc) so that one male can either be nude or be the clothed one who enjoys seeing the nude male in a place where nudity may or may not be expected.
One essential determining factor is whether power/control and whether the sexual arousal is experienced by both (Clothed or Nude) participants and more definitely whether or not it is a voluntary act or coerced or forced on the other party (by force, persuasion or manipulation that physical or psychological or social or even some combinations of all three.
3) accidental or unintended CMNM experiences (like when someone opens a toilet stall door and exposes a naked (or masturbating/erect guy), or getting locked out (pushed out) of a hotel room by college buddies, etc... ). There are all kinds of variables that come into play and thehuge extremes in the level of conscious and unconscious sexual turns-on with all of these variations. the subtleties or the directness (blatantness) are different for every purpose and every person.
Certainly, one aspect of CMNM involves flashing.
Flashing is a form of exhibitionism - from mild to wild to extreme - exposing one's body, specifically the genitals and/or buttocks (or breasts in women) to another person or group of people (who may or may not be clothed). Mild forms of it are 'accidental exposure' or peekaboo flashing -which are so very common among some social groups and situations -- so much so that it is absolutely NOT even regarded as any form of 'sexual' behavior at all - especially in some circles or subcultures.
Peekaboo flashing often takes the form of nudity at college boy dorm and social events or frat parties, nudity at sporting events, rock concerts and public events where young and often drunk people gather to 'have fun'. But it also exists on a more personalized basis .. such as between college dorm roommates or when regular handymen or deliverymen come to a person's house (sometimes repeatedly) and some accidental exposure to (male) nudity occurs. There are legions of stories -- many probably urban legend -- about the voyeuristic adventures of pizza delivery boys, UPS truck drivers, and newspaper delivery boys - some of which they have documented (in blogs, Youtube, porno, etc) but more they themselves often are actually the targeted brunt of someelse's desire getting naked-for-the-pizza-guy prank. I have a strong feeling that many times such 'jokes' actually have latent homoerotic desires or sub-currents underlying the 'urge' to strip or to have someone stripped.
Why then would getting the guys naked or panstied or teabagged be the NUMBER ONE
hazing or college party pranks for seemingly millions of boyish breeder-types (twinks and young college or NON-college men up to age 30 or so). Spend some time searching YouTube or similar sites (or more blatantly risque or explicit video-sharing sites) to get a better idea of what I am talking about. The following is a written interaction about how to flash a plumber. It was originally posted on DickFlash (a publically accessible discussion forum) on January 14, 2008. Within it, you can find some of the basic issues and nuances of what CMNM experiences are all about. One of the discussion participants on DickFlash posted this message and request on January 14:
"This guy came about two weeks ago to work on my sink in my kitchen. He had the plumber's crack thing going on, but in a good way...he has a nice ass. I know he's married with kids, but he was very talkative and friendly. I want to know how to "accidentally" flash him. I'm not sure the "I have to take a shower..." thing is going to work. I need something more subtle. The thing is, short shorts aren't really in fashion these days, or I would slip a pair on and let my balls "accidentally" fall out or spread my legs open, etc. Any suggestions?"
I'm good at coming up with possible ways to flash but I don't
often really put them into practice.... so take what I say with a huge grain of salt. By way of further 'excuse-making', let me explain -- I don't live alone (4 people together) and so can't arrange 'things' so easily for workmen or delivery men flashes. But here are some suggestions... and some advice.
1. The baggy shorts (not just shorty shorts ) or mesh shorts might be one option - You can wear them or sit so that he can look up them (or see through them) and carry on your 'friendly' banter. If you just act like you don't know any about what he's seeing it would probably work.. but if you are like me.. it's the being seen that is the arousing part.
If you have to completely IGNORE his act of seeing, it is ....well.. not like flashing at all. But it might work differently for you. Anyway, just think about it especially from his 'point-of-view' (so to speak), do you think he is going to engage you in a long, friendly conversation while you are 'blatantly' sitting there with your balls or cock or asshole in full view (or partial view). Most married men (unless they are closet gay voyeurs) will politely turn their eyes or simply back off or turn around .. even if they make a joking comment about it or are not embarrassed by it.. it will make them slightly uncomfortable. Then he'll be more wary or even resentful...for having been 'friendly' was NOT his intention - he's probably NOT just chatting you up .. but he's passing the time amiably because it's not a very fun job -- except for those times he gets to actually talk to his customers.
If he is THAT comfortable with seeing a nude male and chatting, then you could probably try something much more direct. You've met him before so to start out with something 'new' at this point may not work either, but at least you'll have some ideas for the 'next' time (another handyman or deliveryman).
For example, explain that you are a nudist (or you can use some wording or terminology to disguise this and then 'explain' what that means... such as a naturologist or FKK scientologist (hey.. like a nude Tom Cruise fan club member) or that you are practicing nude yoga or nake self-massage, essential oil therapy or some such ruse... as a spiritual discipline and this is your morning (afternoon) to engage in your regular session.
If he doesn't baulk, then ask him if you can be nude in front of him now because you always make it a practice in at the time and you need to meditate in the nude. He'll probably believe you unless he's also Asian - the typical WASP North American doesn't know anything about any religion or religious discipline other than their own (rather narrow) Protestant or Catholic dogma (and many barely even know much about those - although they pretend to be 'Christians'. For white Americans (of a
certain age) it would be so non-PC (i. e. politically incorrect) to doubt you or to call your 'nude' religious practice into question because to appear to ridicule it or doubt would be tantamount to prejudice or discrimination - most people will not say anything.
In fact, if he's really 'interested', he just might show so much interest and encourage you to take off you clothes or ask you to explain it or show him how you do it... then you'll have to be able to bull-shit your way through an actual sample session.
What is important is that you need to believe in what you are doing. You have to really have a plan and a clear purpose in your strategy. Actually believing in something helps you actually come up with some ideas (on your own) that will work FOR YOU (to actualize it)..... When you don't believe in something you want to do (and why you want to do), it becomes all too self-evident to others and to yourself that what you are doing is just a ruse or fake.
People are masters as self-delusion - but they can smell out fear or a fake a mile off (not that they always mind or even complain). We (here on DF) can make suggestions that are excellent or extensive (or until we are blue in the face)...but YOU are the one who actually has to make them work or not. It helps enormously if you really believe it too. Think also about why you want to flash this guy... is it the naughtiness that stimulates you? or the sense of having sexual power over someone (esp a stranger? or do you think you might have a chance to get laid or have sex or are you looking for a romantic/sexual fling? Flasher, know thyself.